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I don’t know what is wrong with me. I am so up and down with my emotions towards people. First i liked him then denied that i did, of course i still did and now he likes uma more than me. :( I always do that, think im not good enough that i block myself from potential happyness. I should have learned from love and other disasters.

nothing to do so im going to write 
i cant think of a time when i felt this way before
so many things and ideas are happening 
everything seems like its waiting for something 
just one more day i tell myself but i am just living for the day after that.
please dont go i just cant be alone
i try to be so tough and i pretend like i got this shell and i dont let anyone in 
but the truth is everything they say cuts me apart 
i try not to let it show anymore because i want to be strong 
and i dont want to crumble the way i used to everytime someone said something the least bit mean but i cant take all this even though i have no clue whats bringing me down maybe im still scared to see whats in frount of my eyes does anyone ever have the strenght to see this world for what it is 
and what we are just a blip in time some of us make history in big ways and others in small ways but regardless of what we do we are going to die
its scary when your little you never think about how one day there wont be a tomorrow you never think that one day you wont think what will it be like when will it happen no one knows it seems so random and then its over theres nothing people around you live and you rot